


enough

by ololololi



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Laughter, M/M, Other, Sad Lee Felix (Stray Kids), Soft Bang Chan, Soft Lee Felix (Stray Kids), Stay, can be read as chanlix
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:40:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28277760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ololololi/pseuds/ololololi
Summary: because i promise you – you are enough.
Relationships: Bang Chan & Lee Felix, Bang Chan/Everyone, Han Jisung | Han & Lee Felix, Hwang Hyunjin & Lee Felix, Kim Seungmin & Lee Felix, Lee Felix & Lee Minho | Lee Know, Lee Felix & Seo Changbin, Lee Felix & Yang Jeongin | I.N, Lee Felix (Stray Kids)/Everyone
Comments: 5
Kudos: 61





	enough

**Author's Note:**

> step out!  
> hi, my beautiful stays! this is my first fic with skz...  
> this was supposed to be all about bang chan but i ended up making it about lee felix because i worry about my sunshine a lot too...  
> i wish and hope they all realise how important they are to us and how much they mean to us all.  
> i hope this fic finds you well and please dont hesitate to like and comment.  
> i will see you next time!!  
> you make stray kids stay <3  
> ps. english is not my mother tongue, so excuse any mistakes!

"don't stay too long." said the blonde haired boy while picking up his things and stuffing them in his backpack. he turned to his left side where the other boy was seated and stopped to give him a stern look which basically said _"if you won't come home tonight i will personally shove you from a balcony and haunt your ghost form."_ but only came out as cute because of his full cheeks and raised eyebrows.

"yeah, Channie hyung... don't be too long. we worked hard enough for the past two weeks already. let's have a small break tomorrow." suggested the browned haired boy while trying to adjust his hoodie over his head. he jumped up a few times to get the hoodie fall under his butt to fit more comfortably under his coat and backpack and smiled at the boy who was still sitting on his chair with his precious laptop still opened and certainly hungry for more work. 

a small cracked smile appeared on the boy's face and he nodded a few times. "okay," he promised. "just go already so you won't miss the bus home. it's already past eleven," he stood up and hurried the younger ones out of the room. "and don't forget to go buy oreos and milk for Jeongin and Hyunjin. they flooded the groupchat with too many whining emojis and gifs." he reminded them, while the door was almost closed now, the two already checking the time to see if they will catch the bus.

after the goodbyes were waved and kisses were sent, the oldest closed the door shut and sat back down on his chair. " _let's get back to this."_ he sighed and stretched his arms above his head. he worked for a while, creating new beats and adding them to parts where they seemed to be missing, before his phone started buzzing. when he saw who was calling, he immediately picked it up and brought it to his ear. 

"hey... why are you calling me so late? is everything alright?" he wondered. he tried to not sound so worried but his gut feeling wasn't having it. it was already past 2 in the morning and Minho would usually text him when he knew he was working. 

but Minho cut him off sooner than he expected with words he prayed to never hear.

“we can't find him, Chan. he's nowhere to be found. we checked everywhere and everyone. the find my friends app is off and his phone seems to be dead. Chan, we don't know what to do anymore.“ his voice cracked at the end, something you wouldn't expect from Minho.

Minho was the one who could hold his tears back and stand straight with his chin up and have his head clear no matter what the situation was. he was someone who usually let other people lean on him instead of the opposite.

Chan's breath hitched, his hands started shaking and he instantly stood up to, shutting his laptop down with the work still in process, unsaved and grabbed his hoodie, running out of the room, down the stairs... _god, down so many fucking stairs,_ out of the building, the cold hitting him across his bare face and hands.

only then was he able to ask the question, even though he knew the answer. he desperately wanted it all to be a bad dream. a nightmare where he would wake up, his head on the table next to his laptop, his airpods still playing the same beat over and over again and his timer going off and off until he could shut it all off. _please._

“it's Felix,” _there was something off about him… i should_ ' _ve_ _confronted him about it. i should’ve talked to him. to prevent all of this. this is my fault._ “he was supposed to come home after singing practise at 8. it's fucking two thirty in the morning. he didn't say anything to anyone. i don't know...“ Chan could basically hear Minho's clutching the phone so hard, it almost cracked. his head started spinning, the lights around him blurring and the ground was shaking, making it so hard to concentrate where he was going.

“d-did anyone check the jyp building? isn't he just practicing? i was just there, i can go check again. i can ask the staff or anyone, jus-“ he was cut off with a sob coming from the other side and a small, almost not heard “he's not there either.“

_god._

“okay. okay, okay. let's just calm down. fuck, i don't know. w-where are you, guys? are you still at the dorm?“ he stopped walking, his right hand on his forehead underneath his hat, looking around himself to actually find out where he is. then he looked at his phone, noticing 3 other calls from different members and several text messages of which he couldn't even see the end of.

“Jeongin and Hyunjin stayed in and are trying to call if someone doesn't know anything, Seungmin is down the street, Changbin and Han are near the arcades and i'm near the place he used to go look at the little puppies. we already went to the convenience store and the park nearby, we called the jyp building and his singing teacher. i don't fucking know anymore, Chan. his last text to the groupchat was at 5, where he let us know when he will be coming home. and he isn't there. he isn't is his bed, he wasn't outside the dorm. he's nowhere, Chan.“ the silence after Minho's distressed rant was painful. Chan's mind was mulfunctioning, while his feet started to run towards the nearest view of Hans river.

“i might know where he is. i fucking hope so. i will call you or text you _when_ i find him.” _god please, let me find him_. “ i will bring him home, Minho. _i promise_. please, stay safe, i have to go.” he hung up, shoving his phone inside his back pocket.

he only noticed how fucking cold it is after he reached the familiar place near Han's river. he was running for about 15 minutes, sweat dripping down his back and after the cold hit it, it sent shivers down his spine. while he was trying to slip into his hoodie so he wouldn't actually fall in sick, his eyes caught a small figure in the distance. his hopes went immediately up, cold long forgotten and feet running once again, lungs full of breath. 

“Felix?” he asked with his small voice. “Felix.” he repeated himself, but this time it wasn't a question. it was a relief. his whole body relaxed, his heart almost bursting and he _thanked all the gods that exist_.

Felix was sitting on a wooden bench with his elbows on his knees. his head was in his hands, looking down on his new shoes and fingers tangled in his blonde hair. he didn't say a word back, he didn't raise his head to look at Chan and he didn't even flinch.

 _first thing first._ Chan took out his phone, sent a quick text to the boys with a short “ _i_ ' _ve got him.”_ and put it back.

after noticing that Felix didn't do anything to acknowledge him, he sighed, sitting beside him, his back hitting the bench so hard, it made Felix's body move a bit.

he looked up to the sky, and broke the silence. “the moon looks beautiful tonight,” he observed, “so bright, too. but so far away.”

there was another minute of the quiet, so he decided to add, “just like you.”

“you always look beautiful. you always try to be bright, to make everyone smile and be happy. but the truth is, you and your thoughts are so far away from everyone. you never share if anything bothers you. you only keep bottling it all up until it becomes too much and boils over,” he chuckles, “i know because i'm the same. i would rather suffer than say if anything is not the way i would like it to be. but when in concerns the kids, when it concerns you, i'm ready to fight the whole world. nothing is more important to me than my members. than you,” he leans forward, his hands on his thighs and looks at Felix. “so tell me, Felix, who do i need to fight? why are you here, alone instead of in our warm dorm with the kids, baking delicious brownies and texting stay?” he asks calmly, while his left hand reached Felix's back and started rubbing it.

once Chan mentioned stay, Felix's body escaped series of ugly sobs, gasps for air and his hands gripped his hair stronger. his feet were now on tiptoes, probably because he clenched his stomach too much.

Chan didn't miss a beat and hugged him tight at once. he brought Felix's head underneath his chin, trying to hold him together so he wouldn't shake so much. he caressed his hair and wet cheek while whispering small “shhs” and “it's going to be okay.” in his ears.

“i-i'm sorry,” this were the first words breaking Felix's silence. _what are you sorry for, sunshine?..._ “i'm sorry. i'm so sorry. it hurts so much.” he tried to speak in between his hiccups.

Chan didn't say anything, continuing to hold him and rocking him side to side.

“i'm sorry i'm not good enough. i suck at singing. i'm sorry i'm not good enough in any fucking thing.” and he broke in another cry. it seemed so painful.

the whole time, Chan's heart felt like ripping in halves and his eyes started watering. _who made him feel this way?_

Felix is someone so unique and so beautiful. his soul is made of flowers and rays of sunshine. he's someone so comforting and so warm. he makes people feel included just by looking at them. he is so respectful and so pure. his presence shines with welcomeness and when you are with him you end up thinking to yourself “you know what, maybe living in this ugly, dark world is worth it. it's worth it just because of people like you.”

“you are more than enough,” Chan's broken voice broke through Felix's sobs. “you always were and you always will be enough for me. for stray kids and for stays. you mean to us so much. i promise you that,” he looked in his eyes, “did you hear me?” he asked, nodding his head to bring the smaller boy to nod his head too.

“i don't know how many rants i have to do on how beautiful and unique your voice is, before you realise it. stay could probably write whole 40 pages long essays, do a movie and present presentations globally about it if we asked them. hell, they might do it even if we don’t,” they both laughed quietly, “we love you for you. there's always room for improvement, no matter how good you are, but that doesn’t mean you are bad now. that doesn’t mean you're not enough now, Felix. because i promise you – you are enough.” he insured and at the younger Australian boy and tried to wipe the last tears on his cheeks with his fingers.

“now, let's go home, okay? the others are worried sick. it's already almost 4 in the morning and i'm not sure my phone is even able to have this many messages before it explodes.” Felix only nodded, taking Chan's offered hand in his and stood up from the bench, the sudden movement making his knees pop which made both of them chuckle again.

they ubered home, the drive being comfortably quiet, mostly because both of them were too tired and the warm seats in the car made them sleepy.

Chan didn't even have the time to put the key in the lock of the dorm, before the door opened widely, showing all 6 other members stuffed in the small space, with their expressions changing from shocked into relieved.

“Yongbokkie,” Minho broke through the other members, catching the younger one in a massive hug. Minho kissed his temples, breathing in Felix's scent and hugged him even tighter, if that was even possible. “you scared me so much. don't do this to us ever again.”

“it's true. i have never seen Lee Know panic like this. he even cried,” noted Jisung, whose eyes were bloodshot as well, “well, we all did. Changbin even baked cookies,” he admitted, “well, if you can call them cookies… or anything edible, at this point.”

Changbin only snarled at Jisung but once Felix was in his arms, he smiled comfortably and said, “i tried to follow your recipe but turns out i don't even know how to turn on the oven the right way. i'm sorry, Lixie. i was just so stressed and you said that when you're baking, it makes you relax and feel better so i tried but it made me cry even more and miss you enormously.”

“we can bake the next batch together, Binnie.” Felix promised.

“i will help too. i love squishing them” joined Chan, while making small claps.

“just don't let Bin melt the butter on the stove, i only have so many hands.” said Seungmin with a serious expression while taking Felix from Changbin's hold into his own.

“and don't let him do the measurements, he doesn't know how to use the scale as well.” Hyunjin's tall figure was added to the Seunglix hug, petting Felix's hair.

“how did this turn into Changbin hate train? i tried, guys.” Changbin pouted, crossing his arms on his chest.

“tried to commit manslaughter.” added Jeongin, while eating Oreos with milk in his hand. the next time he wanted to take a bite, Changbin took his Oreo and ate it himself, blowing a raspberry at him.

“child.” Jeongin rolled his eyes at him and everyone laughed. it's true. Changbin often acts like the real maknae of the group and Jeongin is often left to deal with his childishness.

when they all make it to the living room, everyone finds their own place. they sit almost in a circle so they can face each other while they talk.

“so, where were you, Felix?” started Seungmin.

Felix sighs and looks at Chan who encourages him by smiling and sending him a thumbs up. and so Felix starts.

he tells them everything. from how he thought he sounded horrible while singing, the way he didn’t like the moves he saw in the mirror. from how awful he felt towards stay, because he felt he doesn’t deserve them because he isn’t good enough. how awful he felt for feeling awful, because in the end, he should be more than grateful.

he is an idol, he works, has a place to live, is healthy, has supportive friends and food on his plate. he should be grateful instead of whining about little things that don’t matter. there are people dying, being mistreated and suffering. and he's here, almost crying like a child after a crayon fell on the ground, thinking it disappeared forever.

the members listen, every one of them has his heart broken after Felix finishes, because in the end, this is Lee Felix, their sunshine. he doesn’t deserve to feel this way.

they make a promise. from now on, if there's anything bothering anyone, if there are any dark thoughts wandering in their brain pointlessly, if their mood is slightly on the grey side, they will speak to each other and comfort each other.

“and in the end, we can talk about it to stay too. they know we have concerns as well and they always end up understanding us and loving us unconditionally. it will make our bond stronger.” adds Chan, while other nod and smile.

their hearts are filled with fireworks of love again just thinking about their beautiful and strong fans. ahh, scratch that, they're more than fans. they are friends. they are here to stay with them forever.

__________________________

_BONUS:_

_Bang Chan wakes up in cold sweat. - something isn't right. he can feel it in his gut. then he remembers.... he left his precious laptop in the jyp building all alone. he feels like throwing up when he climbes out of his bed, trying to find some clothes and his phone so he can call an uber in. he ends up running down their dorm building barefaced, hair standing in all direction in his pyjama pants with little kangaroos, jeongin's old hoodie that is too small even on jeongin right now and a pair of slippers when he gets in a car to take him to his love of his life... "don't worry, i'm coming to get you, baby." he whispers to himself, comforting the only thing that matters in his life right now.... and damn... he didn't save yesterdays work too..._

**Author's Note:**

> i made minho really emotional. but hes a mama of that group and nobody can change my mind <3


End file.
